Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
