You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
