Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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