and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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