It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
