Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
