I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
