A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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