Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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