no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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