Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
