...so i touched it.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
