remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
