My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
...so i touched it.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
