Nicole vs. Life
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
