I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i've created a new STD.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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