I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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