I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
