Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
