I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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