What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
