She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
third nipple confirmed
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize