he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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