I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
