you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
