Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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