arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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