Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
