I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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