just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
