The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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