your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
