I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
