Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
