Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
