just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
