..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
