tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
