It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
