Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
