I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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