somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
