kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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