Fuck appropriateness.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
