Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
