i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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