The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
