Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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