Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
