Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
