if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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