guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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