It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
