Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
