I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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