hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
