.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
