Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
