He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I have tasted many bathrooms
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize