So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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